wednesday

Sooo I haven't posted in awhile but I've been busy?/ haven't had the internet. My hands are red and burning from lifting weights at the gym this morning. I am really tired right now. My schedule consists of only 4 classes now because I just couldn't deal with my nature of story class anymore. I wake up at 6:30 monday wednesday and friday to go to the gym. I have class at 8 then 10 then 1230. I have rugby from 4-6. Tuesdays and thursdays i have class 9-1130. I then decide if i want to work out or not then i go back to my apartment until practice at 4. Tonight we had a team dinner at my place which will be fun I'm hoping. I am excited to have the weekend coming up, but I try not to build up weekends anymore because I don't ever know if I'm going to be doing much of anything. I can't wait until my first game. Oh also my camera and all my equipment got stolen from me. I'm heartbroken.

So I'm all moved in. I want school and rugby to start. I'm bored as hell. I need a job. and I can't work out at the gym that im currently all paid for until sept. 1st. cool? Things are alright here I'm just bored because everyone has jobs and things to do that's why I need one asap. So yeah friends call me whenever you want to because guaranteed I won't be busy.

pumped!

So tomorrow is the day! I am moving out of the nest. I am really excited to get into my apartment and get out of this area. The perpetual attitude towards southern maine: been there, done that. Although I'm staying in maine, at least it's a well needed change of scenery. I miss my friends from school a lot. I will also miss my friends from home now that I'm leaving them but I know we'll always pick up where we left off. Favorite memories with friends from summer:

Phoebe: Really early on when you first got home and we went on a date to flatbread together and caught up. When we sat in your car at the boat launch doing toungue excersises lol. When we went out to spring point harbor lighthouse and took pics. Rock n roll sushi. bubble tea. taking care of eachother on really bad nights haha. I'll miss you girl.

Caroline: having a really ridiculous night together when chloe pheebz and i slept over at your house and I woke up and purged on your floor. When we got in super late to your house and your cousin was sleeping on your floor and we couldn't stop laughing to save our lies because someone woke up and walked to the bathroom and had the loudest fart ever. good charlotte sing alongs in your car and continuing to sing in evans and he told us to stop singing our stupid music.

JoJo: I was bummed you weren't around much this summer but everytime you were home i had a ton of fun with you. I remember summer before this one when all we would ever do is get off work head in town and eat lol. Townlanding owned us. We had a lot of heart to hearts and I appreciate that. I miss you.

Shieldsy: You too were gone like all summer and I like how I didn't even know you were going away until like two days before you left haha. The only thing that really sticks out was that party you drove us home and everything was hilarious: the people around us, dancing, and just random crap. That was a funny night.

Sara: I spent so much time with you this summer. I saw you almost daily for a short period of time and it was great. I loved watching the deadliest catch and rewatching episodes just because we love those guys so damn much. I love white trahs bash even though only 4 of us were there. Adopting the bunbun was fun. I also liked all the times we sat around at the boat launch or the lighthouse and chilled discussing how we so badly wanted to be somewhere else. I thank you for provinding me a place to stay when things got rough at home. When I hang out with you I feel like I never want to grow older. If we could just stay right there forever everything would just be so easy. You better come visit me!

There have been so many other people I've gotten to know and have had fun with this summer and it made the time almost barable. I stress out so much about moving. I packed so quickly last night that I feel like I am forgetting things. I need to get a job. I need to get a new bank. I really can't wait to start rugby. I'm excited to cook for myself. I'm excited to have my own room. I really hope this year will be as good as I'm anticipating.

oh, fishsticks!

Today is the 18th of August and I am 3 days away from the big move. This weekend was a blast to say the least. Crashing Chris' bike, almost getting in trouble, sleepover, pseudo-dance party, being the only sober one out of like 15 people and loving it, seeing jojo, and just having one last carefree weekend before I go back to school. Yesterday afternoon My sister and I went out to the mall area to go shopping. I bought like 5 pairs of athletic shorts which I am soooo pumped for. I think it's funny to be this excited about mesh shorts but I love them and needed them for working out/ rugby. I also got a great plaid button up shirt, some shorts, and a teeshirt that makes me look like a 12 year old boy for like $13 at old navy. My sister decided she wanted to buy be something for my apartment so she got me the super big universal remote which is completely ridiculous as well as embarrassing and also some reusable ice cubes.



Also my sister cut my hair last night and of course I look like a 12 year old boy. It's alright but i can't say I'll be upset if it grows a little bit in the next couple of days. Anyway I hope that the next couple of days is smooth sailing and that there are no issues at home and that I can just get moved up and keep things simple. my new hair cut:


ew I have to make the kids fish sticks for lunch and I really really hate fish sticks. Minced fish...wtf? so gross
peace.

thanks

The summer has brought a feeling of boredom. However today I realized this boredom is more or less a (sometimes annoying) familiarity. We are so accustomed to the happenings and activities of our daily lives we forget that some of the things we may find boring are things we once so enjoyed. I still enjoy everything, I just need a change.

We will always have the eastern prom. To bring that perfect picnic lunch, fly kites, overlook the water where boats sail in and out, and to discuss.

We will always have those walks down the breakwater to that small light house. To watch our fantasy vessels float by, envy the adventurous professions of the individuals working on these boats, grow annoyed by the unattended children jumping around on the rocks and complaining, and also to realize how much the ocean has to offer.

We will always have sing-alongs in the car. We sing our hearts out without a care in world what we sound like or who might be on the streets at red lights listening.

We will always be young. at heart anyway.

We, no matter how hard we try not to, will have the reoccurring conversations regarding family, former relationships, and hard times. But this only gets us through the rough patches.

I feel at ease knowing that all of these things are going no where. I can always look forward to them without fail. I always have someone to turn to, someone to laugh with, cry with, and just be ridiculous with. Sometimes I think I shouldn't be this lucky.

so close

So I only have 10 and a half days until I move! That's not very many right? once it gets down to single digits I'l; be even more excited!

So I just spent like $50 online. I bought these items:

Hoodie from urban outfitters $13

tee shirt from urban outfitters $5

Tee shirt from sailor jerry $18


All of these items were on sale, so I don't feel too bad but i can't ever just save money. At least I still have 2 more weeks of work and some money still left in the bank to go to school with. Oh and yeah definitely not excited about having to find a job when I get back to school. I hate applying for jobs. Anyway, Less than 2 weeks left at home and I hope they end up being an enjoyable last couple of weeks. These past couple of days have been pretty stressful but hopefully things just get better and not worse right?

shits rough

We sent out the S.O.S. call.
It was a quarter past four, in the morning
When the storm broke our second anchor line.
Four months at sea. Four months of calm seas {only}
To be pounded in the shallows off the tip of Montauk Point.

They call 'em rogues. They travel fast and alone.
One hundred foot faces of God's good ocean gone wrong.
What they call love is a risk,
'Cause you will always get hit
Out of nowhere by some wave
And end up on your own.

The hole in the hull defied the crew’s attempts,
To bail us out.
And flooded the engines and radio,
And half buried bow.

Your tongue is a rudder.
It steers the whole ship.
Sends your words past your lips
Or keeps them safe behind your teeth.
But the wrong words will strand you.
Come off course while you sleep.
Sweep your boat out to sea
Or dashed to bits on the reef.

The vessel groans
The ocean pressures its frame.
To the port I see the lighthouse
Through the sleet and the rain.
And I wish for one more day to give my
Love and repay debts.
But the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west.

They say that the captain stays fast with the ship,
Through still and storm,
But this ain't the Dakota,
And the water's so cold,
{We} won't have to fight for long.

(This is the end.)
This story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear,
(This is the calm.)
Calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath,
(We are the risen.)
I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea,
(After the storm.)
I spoke the words but never gave a thought of what they all could mean,
(Rest in the sea.)
I know that this is what you want, a funeral keeps both of us apart.
(Washed up on the beach.)
You know that you are not alone, I need you like water in my lungs.

This is the end.

making the best out of the worst all in a day

So yesterday sara came and picked me up after a frustrating battle at home. It was worse than i care to describe. Sara and I ended up going for a walk on the east end on that harbor trail. I love that walk. The broken down trains are so cool. Luckily I had my camera which I have been failing to remember to bring with me places. I packed it the night before and we went to the pier. I packed it yesterday and we went on that amazing trail. Anyhow I don't have use to a car right now and it makes me livid. You make me so livid. Here are some of the pictures that I took from yesterday.

mason

So I have this new bunny named mason. He's pretty cute and likes to cuddle. He's coming to school with me and I'm excited to have him. I went to my camp this weekend with my family and it was nice, and surprisingly relaxing. Here are some pictures of bun bun and times at camp.

Not in the mood...

So basically I am extremely annoyed to have to go to my camp this weekend. I think that I am just complaining right now because I am extremely exhausted and I really just need sleep. My dad informed me that we will be taking seperate vehicles so this means I need to drive for 2.5 hours in my current state...that's such a good idea? I am also bummed to be going this weekend because I just adopted mason and I love playing with him and I feel bad for handing him over to someone else for the weekend. In other news...3 weeks until I move!!! I am so excited. I just need a change of scenery. Even though I'm moving to an extremely familiar area, at least I'll be in a new apartment and get to just hang out with some friends I haven't seen enough of this summer. I really need to wake myself up. Blah. Driving to school never makes me like this even if i'm extremely tired i guess just because i really am always anxious to go back to school. Driving to my camp in the middle of nowhere though is a less than satisfying thought. Oh well no rock n roll sushi tonight pheebz sorry : ( Next weekend though maybe...please?

I need:
a table
chairs
a playpen
toys for bunbun
bar stools
miscellaneous houshold items

Lets hope im able to get these things relatviely soon. It's weird to think about packing up to go back to school again when it just seemed like not so long ago that I did this. Moving is a pain but I'm actually looking forward to this move-in obviously!

jeez

So right now I am babysitting (well using their laptop to lurk the internet while the two boys watch tv and the baby is asleep). I feel oddly discontent right now, but this is a familiar feeling. I feel like I'm losing drive in certain areas and it's sad. I wish I could enjoy every second of summer and just play off of everything even if whatever is happening bores me to tears or is just lame. I feel like I could be doing so, but it's hard to when I just want to be somewhere else. It's funny how people make such short spans of time so completely unbearable. I could just be making the best of things, but I can't get certain thoughts off my mind. I worry too much, I stress out about the worst things, and I just can't stand taking things one day at a time. It worries me when things aren't definite. This is going to drive me completely crazy when I'm done with school and am "ready" to take on the world. I strive for reassurance and will pester people to get it. With school, my jobs (current and past), my friends, and even family. Why can't I chill out? I envy people that can just say screw it and let things be. This is a time where I should be my happiest. Great things have happened this summer alone and I just need to focus on these happenings and just make the best out of right now.

july continued...

Tonight I went to watch fireworks in Freeport with my aunts, mother, and younger cousin. They were all right but I always prefer fireworks to be shot together and not always one at a time. Anyway here are some more pictures from today...

july

So I have taken about a gazillion pictures in the past three days. It's been fun hanging out with my baby cousins, seeing family, and laying low but now I'm kind of in the mood just to be around friends. Oh hey guess what? None of them are around right now. Sooo bored. I guess ideally this would be a good time to post pictures since I have no one to see or no where to be.





Have to go. More later.

The Real Start of Summer

So, officially, I feel as though summer has begun. The weather, the outdoor activities, the daily urges to go to the beach or any body of water to cool down, and sadly enough the boredom. In recent discussion the memories of just being a kid during summer came up. I remember when just being able to wake up and go play games outside meant everything to me. It's amazing how such simplicity can entertain a child for hours on end. This summer has kicked off with flipping burgers and, if I must be honest, numerous wastes of gas. I still enjoy simple things like bike rides with friends, barbeques, and trips to the lighthouse, but now it just doesn't seem like enough. Hopefully some excitement will come about sooner rather than later, or maybe we'll have to stick with simple for the summer. I haven't taken many photos so far this summer but here are just a few from the past couple of weeks.

May is finally ending...

I have been done with school since the 8th and I cannot wait for May to be over. Summer doesn't seem quite here yet. Phoebe comes home this weekend I think and I cannot be happier. I can't wait to see everyone I need to see. So far being home has been extremely uneventful. I work a less than satisfying job, I do the same things every week, and I'm just bored to tears. I haven't really done anything fun lately or taken any pictures which makes me sad. Hopefully this summer will be full of fun times and never ending photo ops. I did however, take pictures for my sister's prom as well as her rugby championships. I guess I'll post the best of the series and hope things get exciting over the next few weeks.

Now rugby! Her team played in the U-19 New England's tournament and won!