jeez

So right now I am babysitting (well using their laptop to lurk the internet while the two boys watch tv and the baby is asleep). I feel oddly discontent right now, but this is a familiar feeling. I feel like I'm losing drive in certain areas and it's sad. I wish I could enjoy every second of summer and just play off of everything even if whatever is happening bores me to tears or is just lame. I feel like I could be doing so, but it's hard to when I just want to be somewhere else. It's funny how people make such short spans of time so completely unbearable. I could just be making the best of things, but I can't get certain thoughts off my mind. I worry too much, I stress out about the worst things, and I just can't stand taking things one day at a time. It worries me when things aren't definite. This is going to drive me completely crazy when I'm done with school and am "ready" to take on the world. I strive for reassurance and will pester people to get it. With school, my jobs (current and past), my friends, and even family. Why can't I chill out? I envy people that can just say screw it and let things be. This is a time where I should be my happiest. Great things have happened this summer alone and I just need to focus on these happenings and just make the best out of right now.

july continued...

Tonight I went to watch fireworks in Freeport with my aunts, mother, and younger cousin. They were all right but I always prefer fireworks to be shot together and not always one at a time. Anyway here are some more pictures from today...

july

So I have taken about a gazillion pictures in the past three days. It's been fun hanging out with my baby cousins, seeing family, and laying low but now I'm kind of in the mood just to be around friends. Oh hey guess what? None of them are around right now. Sooo bored. I guess ideally this would be a good time to post pictures since I have no one to see or no where to be.





Have to go. More later.